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i am...

Nov. 30th, 2008 | 09:30 pm

jacks ever strengthening will to love.


for some reason i cant stop typing lately and have nothing better to write about.


hence this...

my emotions are running wild with grief, hate, anger, redemption, sorrow.


yet, with every emotion i have for someone i cant help but love them.


LOVE:
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.


sadly with every breath i exhale of hate, i breath in what it is to love about the human race.


i mention things that only closed eyes can see.


so i am here to say i am about to open them, see the world with a profound sense of purity.


so if i have ever wronged you or made me seem like i dont care you should know thats all about to change.


once again. i love you all for being you.

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i am...

Nov. 30th, 2008 | 09:29 pm

jacks vengeful fists.


with nothing better to do than think nowadays i cant seem to escape the harsh realities of the world.


people do things that need to be punished.


there is always the saying an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind, which is just hopeful thinking.


violence can be used for good and you must make yourself a monster to fight the monsters of this earth.


something is stewing inside of me that wants out.


im afraid if it escapes i cant stop it and if i had the power to stop it i know i wouldnt want to, the stronger i get the more power i have to use.


i wish you could see this to know that your threats will only lead to your timely demise.


you are shit.

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i can admit when im wrong...

Nov. 30th, 2008 | 09:28 pm

and for sure im feeling like i was, again.


i was looking through my old drawing pad today and happened across your first tattoo, a couple of days ago i happened across the words Drug Free printed on a piece of computer paper.


both happenings affected my tear ducts.


i try not to have a clouded mind filled with all the things ive done wrong without thinking far enough ahead or to far.


what i have realized is that no one person on this earth can foresee the future, so dont try or else youll come to a realization you lost something very dear to you because a guess at what will happen.


i have a simple reminder on my leg of that someone who is still extremely loved by me.


im sorry for the things i did to and didnt do for you.


also to everyone else, i love you all for being you and for excepting me for me.

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Bleh

Oct. 19th, 2008 | 04:32 pm

Ok. I posted this bulletin on myspace kinda bitching about how my friends aren't my friends any more and this is the conclusion...

I came to the conclusion that it might have more to do with me than I made it seem to be. The main fact is that I sit here and wait for people to contact me or I even ignore the people I care about. Which isn't good. At all.

DRUGS are the main role player in the thoughts in my mind. Most of my friends have turned to drugs which there for ruin what I thought of them. Their idiocy pushed me away, further and further.

Come to think of it that's what happens with everyone that get involved in my life. They start doing things that push me away and I do nothing to prevent it. I sit back and let whatever the world throws at me happen because that is my belief. I believe that if its going to happen why should I stand in its way. Not to say that I don't have control, but it's the fact that I want people to make the decision themselves on whether I am in their life.

LOVE is the only reason for me to fight. Nothing else in the world matters. You can make more money than anyone else or have your dream job but if it's at the cost of not having love, what's it worth? Nothing. Nothing at all. So if something changes my looks on you and I fight back for it, you know that I love you.

Any ways. This shit is getting retarded. So, to the people I love, you should know who you are, I love you with all my heart and mind. To everyone else, you fuck with my mind, you lose me. Tough shit.

xkevinx

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Something on my mind...

Sep. 18th, 2008 | 01:32 am

My thoughts on the special someone in my life are as following:
                        
             Knowing that I can share all my secrets with you is fantastic
             You are the sexiest person I have ever seen
             You are the first girl that I know that I can say is my bestfriend
             I hate sleeping without you
             You are perfect to me
     
I know there is more but I am tired and that's more than what was really on my mind. I wanted to make the point across that you are my bestfriend. Enjoy it.     

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Living out a fantasy

Sep. 18th, 2008 | 01:01 am

So I lived out one of my fantasies earlier today.

Day dreaming through every single construction zone on the freeway, wishing to slalom in between the orange road cones. Weaving in and out, in and out...sadly just a dream, until...

...today. On my way to Bakersfield I became increasingly annoyed at the yield of traffic while CalTrans was painting the D O T T E D  lines on the newly paved asphalt, forcing traffic half way into the break-down lane. With the slowing of diesels in front and behind me, I decided to go for it. One, two...

GO!

I did a quick in then out. Felt great, liberating. Waiting for the next straight away, check to make sure the lane is clear. One, two...

GO!

One, two, three, four. In and out perfectly, between cones, a smile plastered to me face. I let out a big, YES!

Freedom


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LiveJournal

Sep. 15th, 2008 | 10:53 pm

So this is the first time I have ever been on here and write shit out in the open.

Here I am.

Love me, hate me, judge me.

Bobba Boo-ee, Bobba Boo-ee!

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